Spoiled

I slept in today- a whole 9 and 1/2 hours of rest last night! I needed it and I am so thankful for it. But as I woke up, got my coffee and Bible and ventured to the porch for some Jesus time it occurred to me what a privilege it is to be able to sleep like that. I was struck with the realization that it takes a lot of peace and calm to be able to keep sleeping on and on.  I'm sure that there are millions of people around the world and even some right here in Troup that couldn't imagine the possibility.  If I was not confident that my family was safe I would never be able to sleep peacefully.  And what if I didn't know where we would lay down tomorrow night or what I would feed them for breakfast or if we would be able to stay warm enough. All these situations would require so much of my attention that my mind would not know any degree of peace and sleep would evade me.  I know nothing of hunger, thirst, real fear, poverty or uncertainty. I think I'm hungry when I skip lunch because I cannot stomach another school hamburger, which is free I made add since I teach Head Start, and I have to wait an hour until I can run home and get something else.  I think I'm thirsty when I go for a run to work off the extra calories I had the luxury of indulging on and we are out of bottled water. I think I am afraid when my middle daughter passes out even though we have almost instant medical help at our fingers tips.  I think things are tight financially when I cannot run to the store for chocolate chips whenever I want or I can't get the girls new clothes and shoes that they "need".  I think things are uncertain when I am not sure how an observation by my principal is going to go the next day at school or I'm not seeing a twelve month plan on how God will grow a new church and in turn provide for my family in a guaranteed consistent way.  So, I say all that to say: I am extremely spoiled. I am in no way wealthy by American standards, but compared to the world I have so much more than the average. Not only that but I have something money cannot buy.  I have hope. If something tragic were to happen and I no longer had the peace it takes to sleep late in comfort I would have hope that things would get better and more peaceful days were on the horizon.  I know that God loves me and will provide for my needs and I can be confident in this because He has proven that is true time and time again. But what if I didn't have a relationship with Him? I would then know something worse than hunger or thirst, I would know hopelessness.  I think it's possible to endure great hardships as long as there is something to look forward to or to have confidence in outside of the current situation, but without that hope even a full belly wouldn't provide much peace. So maybe the absence of fear,uncertainty and poverty are not what enables me to sleep late but the presence of my Savior.  If all those other comforts were stripped away I would know that this life is temporary and what comes after this is perfect, that's a hope that can't even be explained. So again I say: I am EXTREMELY SPOILED!
I am convenced that this spoiling does not come without responsibility, I have so that I can share. I have been given much by worldly standards and should never take that for granted or become entitled, thinking I somehow deserve this life I am blessed with. I am no better than the mother that is up all night worrying about feeding her kids or worse protecting them from people who mean them harm. More importantly I have been given much spiritually as well. Some one took the time to love me enough to share Jesus with me and give me the hope that outlasts everything.  I am no more worthy of that hope than the woman down the street who can't even think about the possibility that better things are coming for her because today is too overwhelming and no on has helped her see otherwise. I pray that I will never take any of this for granted or let my mind wonder to how much more I think I need or deserve. If I can sleep late in peace, confidence and hope then I better be using all the energy I have while I am awake to pass what I have on to others!
"Yet , my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from Him. Truly He is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken." Psalms 62:5-6

Stretching

Do you ever feel like life is so full and demanding that you have to be Elastigirl to get everything done and be all you need to be? You know Elastigirl from The Incredibles, she is the superhero and later mom/superhero that can stretch and contort in all different directions and shapes. She can reach all the way across the room or stretch out to be a parachute when need be. Do you ever wish you could do that kind of thing? Often we might feel like we can't get to where we are going because we just can't stretch that far. Sometimes that is simply because we said yes to somethings we should have said no to and we have overstretched ourselves but other times (and this almost feels worse to me) I really believe God puts us in a place where we need to be elastic to reach things. He wants us to stretch for it. 

I'm honestly there now. I feel too small and inadequate and young to be where I am. I mean lets be honest, I'm not the best at being a grown up.  I do take care of my responsibilities well enough but I don't dress the part, I prefer a messy bun to any other time consuming hair style (don't tell but some days I don't even brush my hair I just pull it up before work) I don't own any make-up except mascara that I only wear on semi-special occasions and I just cannot get into most anything that grown people talk about! So now I find myself in a weird uncomfortable place. My husbands a pastor now, yah without the word "youth" before the word pastor. And if thats not strange and stretching enough there is a sudden explosion of people who I suddenly feel responsible/accountable for (we had over 70 people on the very first Sunday of real services). Don't get me wrong, though this explosion was not at all what we expected, it is amazing and encouraging and well.... crazy. I just don't feel at all equipped to live up to this. So this is probably God asking me to be Elastigirl; to stretch further than I ever thought possible in order to be all He is asking me to be. And the only way I can do that is to trust Him and just reach as far as I can, obeying even if its scary or heavy or unknown. Straining forward to what is ahead and trusting that God is going to show me what to do in the next hours, days, weeks and always! This will require me to let the past stay in the past. I mean I don't want to repeat the past so I need to be wise and carry with me the lessons I have learned but not the guilt and pride and regrets. There is no way that I can hold onto all that AND stretch forward, eventually I will have to let go of the past or give up on the future. Other wise I will likely snap and be totally ineffective.  

I used to run track and cross country in high school and though I cut a lot of corners in practice I did learn a few things about racing. A big one was- Never look back! It slows you down and interrupts your focus. Another one was- Lean into the finish! Even if you feel exhausted that last little push can make a lot of difference in the race results. This applies to our spiritual lives as well! "Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Phillippians 3:13-14 Paul is telling us to quit looking back and stretch with all our strength and energy toward what God is calling us to do. 

I will probably never be able to spread my arms across the town like Elastigirl, but if God is calling me to love and serve this town in ways I never expected then I need to be willing to strain toward that with everything in me and trust Him to be sufficient when I obviously am not.