UNCTION!!

For as long as I can remember I have had a morbid way of thinking, I always have a sense of loss when I leave some one's company, for fear that it may be the last time I see them. I honestly don't know if I was like this as a child, but when I was a teenager, my younger brother was diagnosed with cancer and I know I have felt this way at least that long. A few years ago it was so intense that I would break down when people I loved had to leave or when I had to go back to college or where ever. Then more recently, I would actually mourn for the loss of my husband and my girls, when they were in fact fine. I have a feeling that I have always been this way, because my 8 year old thinks the same way. This was something I really had to pray through and give to God, so I wouldn't waste the time I did have thinking about the time that I might not have.

This week Tommy and I had the privilege of joining several hundred other student pastors from all over the place in worship and a time of refueling. For those of you who know me, you know how much I love words. I love weird words, and rarely used words. Yesterday a guy was preaching to us and he used a word that I had never heard before, so of course I thought he made it up. But I have an app for that, so I pulled out my phone and checked the new word out on dictionary.com and found that he actually knew a word that I didn't, shocking haha. He was talking about Psalms 39 which says our lives are like a mere breath, our days are short and we must remember that. David wanted God to help him remember that our lives are a vapor and then we are gone. There is where my new word came in, "unction" it means, holy urgency. If we are aware that our lives are shorter than short it should motivate us to live with a sense of urgency for God. I don't want to know when I am going to die, I would rather not know when anyone is going to die, but if I did, I think it would change how I spent my time, the words I said to my girls, the amount of time I wasted, the fervency with which I would share Jesus with others, in fact it would change everything. If I knew that I had a week or a month or a year to live, an unction, a holy urgency, would quickly develop in me. I am sure this is why David wanted God to tell him the number of his days, so he wouldn't get distracted by the world and all the temptations of it, but instead would focus the remainder of his life on what God made him to do.

I guess I have always has a sense of unction, I know that life is short, and I don't take it for granted, I feel urgent about it, but my unction has been missing the holy emphasis that it needs. Instead of living as sold out for God as possible, I just focused on the loss. God wants to change my morbid thinking to unction thinking. He wants to use this vapor of a life that He gave me for eternal things, not things that will perish when I do. I get so caught up in temporary, useless concerns that I don't always use the few days of my earthly life to bring glory to God. I do not want to wait to know death is coming before I live life! Because the truth is, death is coming, the breath of my life will soon fade and that is not me being morbid again, that is just me trying to keep things in perspective. I pray that I will always keep unction in mind and that it will transform how I use my days!!