Aaahhaaa!!!!!!

Have you ever had one of those moments when things just kind of clicked for you and you understood a little something that never made sense before? A "aha!" moment? Well I am having an "aha!" season more so than a moment. God is opening my eyes to remember the past and how that is useful in the present.

For a couple months now I have had the privilege of delivering the children's sermon at the beginning of our worship service. I love doing it, but a couple weeks ago the sermon was going to be over Paul's thorn in his flesh; something he asked God to remove, but God left so through Paul's weakness everyone could see God's strength. As soon as I saw this scripture I knew I was not going to enjoy talking about this, because it was pretty much exactly what God had been teaching me and it was going to get personal. It is one thing to sit in front of a congregation and cluck like a turkey (You had to be there I guess haha) it is an entirely different thing to sit in front of a congregation and expose your own weakness and weep for a couple hundred people to see. Many kind people approached me after my sobbing scene and thanked me for being vulnerable and through it God was teaching me. He showed me that I had to experience the "thorns" of my childhood and teenage years to be who I am today and that I need to be who I am to reach and love and minister to the people God has put in my life. If God had made everything perfect for me then I would be in no place to relate and emphasize with "my kids"! So I am learning to be thankful for thorns.

During this "aha!" season I have also been reminded of someone who was so very instrumental in pointing me toward God and encouraging me to find who I was and live as me. I found a note from one of my very dear high school teachers; a note of encouragement she had written me during some of the hardest days of my life. I thought the world of her and considered myself to be one of "her kids"! I cried as I remembered where I came from and how I am writing notes just like that to "my kids"! I could have crossed my name out at the top and hers at the bottom and readdressed it and no one would have guessed it wasn't from me, I sound just like her. That is crazy and humbling and overwhelming to me. I can completely empathize with "my kids" who are feeling alone or overwhelmed and need extra encouragement because that was me. She was EXTREMELY important in shaping my self-worth and choices during that time and to think I have anywhere near a similar influence makes me shake my head; God is amazing and He can use anyone! I needed her to be her who God made her to be so she could show me how to be who God made me to be so I could show others how to be who God made them to be so they will hopefully show others how to be who God made them to be and on and on! WOW!

All these "aha!"'s started me thinking about Christmas and how the great star breathing God could have thought of millions of options on how to arrive to redeem us, but He chose to come as one of us. He took Himself out of glory and became a tiny helpless baby, so that He could live like we do. He knows what it is like to be cold and tired and hungry, He has experienced loneliness and betrayal and has longed to just be with His Dad. He can empathize with us. Let that sink in... the God of heaven who created all things endured earth so He could empathize with YOU AND ME!! "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. ¹⁶ Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:15-16

During the middle of my thorny times or even as I was being encouraged I never once thought, "Someday I will be thankful for this, because I know God is molding me." But that is exactly what was happening and I can now say "Aha! God I see some of what you were doing!" I am so blessed and grateful to be where I am, doing what I am doing and I wouldn't trade any of the bumps and thorns and tears it took to get here!

WARNING!!

The last couples months have been difficult for me. I have been suffering from a very painful problem... a broken heart. I shouldn't complain though since I asked for it.

In September Tommy and I went to a Youth Minister's Conference called Refuge. It was an amazing couple of days meant to focus on God and refuel and those things were accomplished, but one of the songs we sang and prayed that week changed things for me. "Hosanna" by Hillsong United is a beautiful song with great words; I had heard it and even sung along before, but that week I made the bridge my prayer:

Heal my heart and make it clean

Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what is yours
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity

I have always been told to be careful what I ask for... this might have been a good time to heed that warning. The weeks and now months that have followed that simple prayer have been a little overwhelming. My eyes have truly been opened to the hurts and pains and fears of the students in my life and it honestly breaks my heart. I am assuming the people around me have always had these same scars and hurts in their lives to one extent or another, I have just never been so aware of them before. If I am experiencing even a minuscule percent of the amount God's heart breaks for them and really all of us, then God is far more compassionate and concerned and parental that I have ever given Him credit for. I mean I always knew He was all those things, but to actually feel it for myself brings new light on the tremendous love God has for His children. God's heart breaks when we are lonely, afraid, confused, exhausted, conflicted, hurt, scared, needy, unloved, under-appreciated, unwanted or even just tired. Everywhere I look there are people who are experiencing loneliness and fear and a whole spectrum of less than perfect conditions.

Compassion has always been something I have heard about and have been taught and even taught to others as something we should practice in our Christian lives, but I am learning that true compassion goes further than just feel bad for some one. The word compassion, on several occasions in the bible, is the word splagchinizomai which means to be moved to the pit of your stomach with love and pity. Jesus had compassion on the crowds in Matthew 14, it hit Him in the gut how helpless and hopeless the people were. I have been hit in the stomach myself lately, sick over the hopeless, desperate condition of "my kids". Jesus not only had compassion on the crowds, He did something about it, He went on to heal their sick and then feed all of them. I think that God lets us feel that pang in order to push us to do something about the problems we see. It would be easy for me to ignore what my eyes have seen if I didn't "feel" it for myself. Having my heart broken for the things that break God's heart and learning true compassion are honestly not the most comfortable warm and fuzzy things I have ever had to learn, but I know it is making me more like Jesus not to mention forcing me to lean even harder on the loving arms of my Heavenly Father.

So, be careful what you ask for, you never know when a simple pray will keep you up at night. But even more importantly please remember that God is not just a distant creator in the sky, He is deeply in love with His children and He wants to comfort them and hold them close through everything this world throws at them. If God can "show me how to love like He loves me," that will definitely make all this worth it.

Check This Out!

http://www.studentlife.com/blog/

Abs of Steel

Over the weekend I was able to meet up with one of my "kids" who is not so much a kid anymore. She knew me when I only had 2 little girls, when I didn't have any fine line around my eyes and 4 moves ago. I haven't seen her in about a year or two mostly because of my own doing. After we our move from Central Texas to West Texas I neglected many relationships with the students that I loved, mostly because it broke my heart to not be with them anymore. The last few months I have really realized how much "not myself" I had become. There were a couple years of my life that my heart got very hard and I lost a lot of who I was. It happened so quietly that I barely even noticed, but God noticed and He strategically placed people in my life to crack open my rock of a heart and teach me to love freely once again. I think I was scared to love students and others because love is risky and I have learned that in a very real and personal way. People can hurt us, situations change and my heart has been broken, so in an effort to avoid that pain I just closed myself off and played like I was alright and pretended to do ministry, which mostly involved hanging out and having fun, but not getting too attached.

Well needless to say God didn't like my plan, enter the students of Troup, Texas. Over the past maybe 6 months I have had the great privilege of getting to know these students in a way that I cannot help but have my heart broken for them and love them no matter the cost. Only when I

began letting myself become attached to them, did I realize what had happened to my heart. God is again showing me who I am and more importantly who He is and giving me assurance that I can love freely and fearlessly because He loves me and is always enough! He also showed me that in my fear and selfishness I hurt some of my "kids" by letting them think that I didn't love them anymore. And that broke my heart, so here is evidence of the stupidity of me trying to do things my way and protect myself, it didn't save me any heart ache it just wasted precious days of my life and opportunities that I will never have again. The pleasure of being involved in people's lives and seeing God work in them far outweighs the possibility of the pain that can result. Therefore I am letting go, giving up control and letting God use me, with no regard for what might become of me.

I tell you all that to say, my day with my "kid" who is now my friend was amazing! I laughed harder and longer than I have in a very long time. My ab muscles are still feeling the effects of that day!! I pray that God will allow me days to laugh and also to cry with many more of my "kids" in the future. And that I will have abs of steel and never again a heart of steel.

UNCTION!!

For as long as I can remember I have had a morbid way of thinking, I always have a sense of loss when I leave some one's company, for fear that it may be the last time I see them. I honestly don't know if I was like this as a child, but when I was a teenager, my younger brother was diagnosed with cancer and I know I have felt this way at least that long. A few years ago it was so intense that I would break down when people I loved had to leave or when I had to go back to college or where ever. Then more recently, I would actually mourn for the loss of my husband and my girls, when they were in fact fine. I have a feeling that I have always been this way, because my 8 year old thinks the same way. This was something I really had to pray through and give to God, so I wouldn't waste the time I did have thinking about the time that I might not have.

This week Tommy and I had the privilege of joining several hundred other student pastors from all over the place in worship and a time of refueling. For those of you who know me, you know how much I love words. I love weird words, and rarely used words. Yesterday a guy was preaching to us and he used a word that I had never heard before, so of course I thought he made it up. But I have an app for that, so I pulled out my phone and checked the new word out on dictionary.com and found that he actually knew a word that I didn't, shocking haha. He was talking about Psalms 39 which says our lives are like a mere breath, our days are short and we must remember that. David wanted God to help him remember that our lives are a vapor and then we are gone. There is where my new word came in, "unction" it means, holy urgency. If we are aware that our lives are shorter than short it should motivate us to live with a sense of urgency for God. I don't want to know when I am going to die, I would rather not know when anyone is going to die, but if I did, I think it would change how I spent my time, the words I said to my girls, the amount of time I wasted, the fervency with which I would share Jesus with others, in fact it would change everything. If I knew that I had a week or a month or a year to live, an unction, a holy urgency, would quickly develop in me. I am sure this is why David wanted God to tell him the number of his days, so he wouldn't get distracted by the world and all the temptations of it, but instead would focus the remainder of his life on what God made him to do.

I guess I have always has a sense of unction, I know that life is short, and I don't take it for granted, I feel urgent about it, but my unction has been missing the holy emphasis that it needs. Instead of living as sold out for God as possible, I just focused on the loss. God wants to change my morbid thinking to unction thinking. He wants to use this vapor of a life that He gave me for eternal things, not things that will perish when I do. I get so caught up in temporary, useless concerns that I don't always use the few days of my earthly life to bring glory to God. I do not want to wait to know death is coming before I live life! Because the truth is, death is coming, the breath of my life will soon fade and that is not me being morbid again, that is just me trying to keep things in perspective. I pray that I will always keep unction in mind and that it will transform how I use my days!!

Call the Bug Man

We moved into our house about 9 months ago and from day one was have been fighting to keep these little tiny nasty "German roaches" from taking over. It might seem for weeks that they are gone, then all of a sudden I start seeing a few of them again. Our house has been sprayed by the bug man more times than I can count. Seeing them in the laundry room, or bathroom is pretty disgusting, but the even nastier thing is what happens after he comes; I find tons and tons of dead bugs everywhere, the kitchen counters, the pantry, all over the house. That means that the day before the bug man came, those same bugs were alive in those same places, hiding out of site just waiting for the lights to go out so they could make their selves at home. So NASTY! (Please don't think we are dirty gross people, because we try hard to keep things clean and sanitary, but these little pests are more than we can handle sometimes. LOL!)

This week as I was reading in Ephesians I came across a passage that reminded me of my little roaches. "For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible." (5:8-13)

All of us have things in our life that we would rather keep hidden in the dark, secrets from others, secrets from God. We all have our roaches; our sins, our anger, our unforgivness. And as long as we keep the lights off they are free to roam and live and devour whatever they want. That is good news for the roaches but very bad news for our hearts' condition. God wants so badly for us to allow him to shed light in those dark places in our hearts so that he can exterminate the bugs and replace them with the "fruit of light"; good things that honor and please him. Jesus said "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." (John 8:12) Jesus longs to light the way for us and he is the only one who can. Without him we will be walking in darkness and also be full of darkness. I don't know about you but after just a few cloudy days I am longing for the sunshine. We are not like the roaches who prefer darkness to light, we are made to be Jesus followers made to thrive in the Light. The concealing effects of darkness maybe lull us into thinking everything is OK, but we are only deceiving ourselves. Roaches won't go away on their own, they are persistent pests, they reproduce quickly. True peace and freedom will only come when we open our whole lives to examination by the Light and let him clean house, after which we will be able to figure out what pleases God. And sense pleasing God is what we are made for, the roach free, lighted life is the most satisfying one out there! I am calling the bug man again today to come exterminate another generation of gross insects from my house. And I am praying that I will have the bold faith to allow Jesus to continual shine into my heart and keep the roaches out of his home in me!

Top 10 Positive Reasons for Back to School

I need to blog but I don't know what about...

So how about 10 positive things about school starting next week? ( I am trying to convince myself)

10. I will know what day of the week it is.

9. Everyone will be back at church since vacations are over.

8. Pep rallies and football games; though I didn't enjoy these in my younger years they are much more fun now as an adult and bystander! :)

7. Raegan and I will have more one-0n-one time to work on her reading skills.

6. Opportunities to meet new people and share life with strangers through the girls' classrooms.

5. More time to blog and write (maybe).

4. Fall might be coming sometime in the next few months bringing cooler temperatures?!

3. Returning to a bedtime/waking up schedule.

2. Enjoying delicious(lol) lunches with my youth at school!

1. I get to share my little lights (Hadley Morgan and Caedlyn Tatum) with a dark and dying world, kind of like mini missionaries!

Honestly after the bottom five I got stumped and had to stretch for the top 5, I guess I need more convincing than I thought. It would have been way easier to write a top 10 list just about the beauty that cooler temperatures will bring, like more comfortable outside time to go for walks or jump on the trampoline, fall leaves, cooler weather meals. See that's 3 without even thinking. Anyway I digress haha.

All good things come to an end, I guess, and this summer was a great one, we enjoyed Ranger's games, 6 flags, VBS, visits to family, tons of swimming and so much more. As much as I don't want to send the girls to school next week, I am trying to make a conscience effort to make the most of every opportunity (Colossians 4:5) and let God use me and my family in this season! I want to shine like a star for Him in any and every place He puts me and as of next week that will be as a mom/student pastor's wife in the school building. I pray that I might be radiant!

WOW

I have been so busy with my summer months that this blog is looking like a ghost town!! I am sorry that I have not kept you all up to date on what God has been up to, but believe me, He has been working!! Big time!! Our Student Ministry has bloomed like nothing we could have ever expected, the students are shocking me with their changed hearts and lives on a daily basis, they are learning to rely on God, be real with each other, be upcouraging :), serve, share and love! God has also used this summer to teach me so much! On more occasions than I would like admit I have found myself stressed about circumstances or finances, pointlessly worried about how something will work out. And yet even in my doubt and fear God has worked in out for us and every time He not only provided what we needed but so much more. Here are a couple examples: I needed to take my girls to Lubbock to stay with my mom while we took the youth to camp, so I needed about a $100 extra for gas money,that may not sound like a lot, but around here anything extra is a stretch! I asked God to take care of it and instead of giving me the money he gave me free plane tickets which saved me $100 and 14 hours that week!! AMAZING!! Then like the forgetful sheep I am, I started stressing about how we were going to afford school clothes and shoes and supplies, I figured we needed about $500 for all of that, so again I asked God to take care of that need, and through a very random string of events He not only gave us what we needed, but multiplied the amount I asked for and really blessed us. Lets just say that I was even able to get new shoes and a hair cut!!

There are several other examples I could share with you to show just how much God is making provision for us. This has shown me how dependent we are on God and how good He is to provide for us when we just come to the end of what we can do and admit that without Him it is impossible. The last few weeks on Wednesday night with our students we have been in a series called "Battle Ready" looking at some of the epic, unbelievable things God did and wants to do. Last night Tommy taught the youth from Philippians 4: 12-13 "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." And I can really relate to what Paul is saying here. We have had times of hardship in our life and are now experiencing a time of plenty and in both situations I know that it is only because of God that we can make it through!! To Him be the glory for the lesson I have learned in every situation!! With Him I can truly do ANYTHING!!

We Are The Body Part 1-What Big Ears You Have

I have been pretty sick this week and that helped me realize how much I take being well for granted and how much I need every part of my body to be working properly for my daily life to flow smoothly. And you guessed it, this also made me think about how the Bible says we (the church) are the Body of Christ and how badly the church needs all its members working properly for it to function smoothly as well. I think this will take more than one post because there is so much to be said, so I am planning a short series entitled "We are the Body".

So here goes... We are the Body Part 1- What Big Ears You Have

This weekend I had tons of family visiting for my middle daughter's 7th birthday party as well as for her baptism. Some came and left and a few stayed for most of the weekend. I loved it, but it is always a lot of work before, during and after family visits, and to make matters worse I started feeling bad on Friday. In an effort to make the most of the time I had with my family, I didn't slow down one bit and pushed through the weekend as best I could, but by Monday night I was in so much pain I got almost no sleep. My ear was swollen shut, my head was pounding, my face and neck were swollen and I was miserable. First thing Tuesday I called the doctor for an appointment and ended up getting 2 shots and four prescriptions, not to mention the "wick" she had to shove down my ear to help the medicine get past the swelling. My ear was the main source of my misery, it was throbbing with every heart beat, so swollen that my face was numb, I couldn't move my jaw to chew and even the outer part of my ear hurt, not to mention I still cannot hear out of it. In fact my ear hurt so bad that the air from a fan blowing on it was painful! I felt like the wolf in "Little Red Riding Hood" with ear so big anyone could notice but in fact, no one could tell. Except me that is, I could sure tell, other than the pain the worst part was the inability to hear. I guess I just take hearing for granted, but when I suddenly couldn't hear it was really a problem. My girls were getting annoyed because I they had to repeat themselves several times before I understood what they were asking me, I felt uncomfortable driving, the TV had to be turned up way loud for me to hear it and I felt like I was in my own little world. I know that if my hearing never returned I would somehow learn to manage life just fine without it, but I sure would miss hearing the girls laugh, the birds sing, the bugs chirp and reading closed captioning on the TV would be a pain. :)

This is how it is in the church too. The bible is very clear that all the Christians are meant to work together to make up the Body of Christ. Each of us has a certain job and in conjunction with one another we can do the work that Jesus has left us here to do.We need everyone, the ears, the toes, the shoulders, everything for the church to function correctly. And when any one member is either not letting themselves be part of the work or is not functioning properly the whole body suffers, just like the problem with my ear effected so many other parts of my body. So many times I have heard people say, "My relationship with God is between Him and I, it is personal and I don't need anyone else to love Jesus and serve Him." But I have to disagree, there is no way that one person can carry out all the jobs of all the parts of the body alone, we need each other, and that person that is trying to live for God in solitude is denying the body, as a whole the use of the gifts they have been given to contribute. On a daily basis my ears do not get a lot of specialized attention, except for a quick scrub in the shower, but I felt incomplete when they started not working. And the church is the same way, she has many people whose jobs may go seemingly unnoticed until one day they don't get done.

"And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body." 1 Corinthians 12:16 It is my prayer that we are all using out gifts and abilities to build up the body or Christ and encouraging those around us to do the same. I hope my church never feels as bad and incomplete as I have this week, but enjoys the smooth flow of everything part working together properly with no extra big ears or missing toes!!

Summer Musing

When I was a kid I cried when summer break arrived, I knew I wouldn't see my friends as much which was sad and even then I knew that the end of school every year meant the end of something that would never be exactly the same again. 4th grade wouldn't be like 3rd grade was, there would be a fresh mixture of kids, a different teacher, and a new schedule, not to mention new requirements and things to learn. I don't think I necessarily hated change, I just liked where I was and didn't mind staying there.

Now as a mom, I am thrilled that it is summer break for my kids. I love the extra time with them, the more relaxed schedule, the later bedtime (sleeping later) and the activities that we can enjoy! The only thing that I don't like about starting summer break is the same thing I didn't like as a child, the realization that another year has passed. My girls felt like the last weeks of their school year drug on and on, but to me it flew by, in fact Christmas was just the other day and they started 1st and 2nd grades just a few weeks ago. I don't know what it is about getting older that makes time seem to pass more quickly. Maybe because I am busier or have more to worry about, or maybe it goes by so quickly because I won't want it to!!

This spring I was able to attend a couple significant events for our youth students; 8th grade graduation and Troup High School graduation. Even though I have only know these kids for a few months, I had to fight back tears for them. The 8th grade ceremony was especially emotional for me! There was a slide show of pictures from their 3 years in Junior High and it was amazing to me to see how much they had grown and matured since the beginning of 6th grade! Watching the pictures of the girls pop up really got my attention, they entered 6th grade as little girls with messy ponytails and funny faces and were leaving 8th grade as young women with highlighted hair and make-up. So much happens in those few years; crazy!!

When my girls were born, wise mothers told me over and over, "enjoy them while they are little, they will grow up before you know it." And everyone of them was right, Haldey is 8 1/2, which means she is almost half way grown. She will be graduating in the year 2020, with Caedlyn right behind her in 2021, which sounds like a long way off to my ears, but my heart knows that it will be over in a flash.

Anyway, I said all that to say, I am trying to make a conscience effort every single day to make sure that when they graduate from 8th grade as young women and then from High School as able young adults, they know that they are amazing, loved, gifted, treasured women who were created for a unique purpose by the same hands that made the wonders of the night sky!! Proverbs 3:1-3 says "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven; a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot." I know there will come a time when all three of my girls will uproot and head out to start their own lives and families and though the idea of that is bitter sweet, I want to focus on planting everything I can now so they will be ready then! I pray that those of you who have children will make the most of every day with your kiddos as well, because our time with them is fleeting! And those of you who don't have children, who maybe are still living in your parents' house as a child, you too should remember that time flies so make the most of every day, with your family and friends, it will never be just like this again!

Computer Screens and June Bugs

Last night I was sitting outside to let poor neglected little Alphie the dog play, since he had been cooped up all day due to our busy schedule, and I needed to blog for the student ministry page, so I decided to multi-task and do it out doors. I love being outside and the night was beautiful, so I was very nice to sit out there in the peace and type while Alphie expended some pinned up energy, and my girls were already in bed which just increased the peace! As soon as I opened the laptop, I realized the down fall of my little plan; BUGS! All kinds of insects swarmed to the light of the computer screen as well as the porch light and were very distracting. In my personal opinion, June bugs are among the yuckiest of all bugs, they are kind of slow and so crunchy and their legs are all spiky; I just don't like them, but they apparently really like the glow of my computer, as do moths and other unidentified creatures! They were all over me, GROSS! And then my weird brain started to work... and you guessed it, a spiritual application came to me.

Matthew 5:14-16 says, "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." Those of us who are believers should be shining so brightly that people are drawn to us, just like those bugs were drawn to the lights. I am sure that bugs from all around could see the lights there were around me, because that is how light works, it pierces through the darkness. And the best way to shine is not with our mouths moving and saying how much we love God and people, but with our actions, our "good deeds". People will notice how we behave and want to be around us then we can share our lives with them and point them to Jesus, who will then get the praise and glory for it. Last night I would have loved to put a bowl over the computer screen to deter the bugs, but in our Christian walk we WANT to attract people, which means we cannot be "secret Christians"; people who just go to church, but don't live it out loud the rest of the week. That is definatly not putting our light on a stand to share with everyone.

It is my prayer that myself, my family, my youth, my church and everyone who enjoys the grace of God through Jesus, will live their lives in such a way that people all around them will not be able to stay away. We are all like moths or June bugs; it is nice to be around others who love us and are kind and we can be that light for everyone who sees us! So shine on, and see what happens! :)

HOMERUN!

I guess the last post really took it out of me, because I haven't been able to come up with anything to blog about in almost 2 weeks. Today I decided to go ahead and write something, whether is was much or not, just to get my juices flowing again! And yet as I sit here, I've got nothing haha!

Oh wait... I think it is coming to me... yes... BASEBALL! :)

Tommy loves watching baseball and since it is that time of year and I like being in the same room as my husband, I get to watch a lot of it as well. Tonight it is the Rangers vs the Athletics, which if you are like me, means very little! I usually try to keep up with Tommy's teams and some players just so I will have something to talk to him about but I haven't been able to get into baseball very much this season. Anyway, just a few minutes ago one of the Rangers, who I have actually heard of, hit a home run, hard and fast out of the park. And the crown went wild! I couldn't help but laugh at the heavy-set grown men going crazy over another man's accomplishment! They were screaming, jumping, high five-ing and even "bro hugging", it was as if they had done something amazing themselves! But they didn't, their biggest contribution was buying a ticket and maybe having a hot dog!

As with so many things, I immediately saw this as a parable to the Christian life. There are always those people who seem to really be in the middle of what God is doing and they get to be a part of unbelievable things, hitting it out of the park. Then there are also those who stay in the stands and watch and wait and finally waste away! In my life, I don't want to be just the girl in the stands cheering the big dogs on, I want to be a home run hitter myself. Now I know that there are going to be times when I need to be the cheerleader and encourage those around me, but I don't want to sum total of my life be, "I saw some pretty cool stuff." I want to DO some pretty cool stuff, to be in the middle of the action and excitement. I am not satisfied with sitting around hearing stories of God using people, doing miracles, saving lives, changing hearts or completely shaking things up; Christians were never intended to just be spectators . Jesus please use me to do those things and let my life be so consumed with you that I can hit anything out of the park and inspire others to pick up a bat themselves!

Seeds, Sprouts and Vines of Doubt

Over the last couple of days I have been having a hard time... I am not sure what triggered it, but I am begining to have my eyes opened to where it is coming from. So here goes one of the honest confessions of an imperfect pastor's wife.

I think that throughout my adult life I have been tucking somethings away in my heart and without really noticing I let these seeds sprout into a vine that is entangling my mind. For years now I have been pushing it down trying to keep myself under control, but these vines of distrust, fear and doubt have grown so big that any little disturbance and they are out of control, causing sleepless nights, irrational thinking and stomach aches. This has been one of those weeks when I am unstable.

Years ago when I married a man called to church work I had absolutely no idea what I was getting myself into, don't get me wrong, I would do it all again in a heart beat, I just wasn't prepared for the heartache that was to come. I was very young in my own faith, I didn't ever have anyone disciple me, and I did not even really know anyone in the ministry, especially not a girl. I have felt like I have been charting my own course, like a pioneer, from the very beginning of this journey. As early as the very first church that we served in at the young age of 20, we have seen youth's lives changed, students grow into adults who serve God, kids called to the ministry and have been blessed beyond measure to see God do amazing things in our lives and the lives of others. This continued through out the last 10 years as our ministry has been our life. But on the flip side of that we have experienced nice Christian people turn on us, stab us in the back and hurt us deeply in every church we have served in. Please know that I in no way think we are victims or that we are without blame in these situations, I know that we were at many times impatient, less than gentle and prideful. My husband is a painfully honest, passionate man who has only recently learned tack and diplomacy,and with his personality and conviction will always come conflict to some degree. And I don't blame him either, I don't blame anyone it is just life. All I am saying is that every time a church reacted negatively to us, another seed was planted in my heart or a huge pile of fertilizer was poured on the seeds that were already there. We have been a part of 7 churches in the last 10 years, which means we have packed up all we own and moved that many times, left friends that many times, wondered what God was doing that many times and started over that many times. More instances than not the decision to move was not in the best circumstances and well, let's just say we don't go back to visit! The amazing thing is that every time God has worked in all things for our good, just like He promised He would. The bad thing is that even though I trust God to keep doing that, I don't trust people to give Him much to work with. Let me give you a few examples of how crazy these vines have made me; my husband got the opportunity to preach Sunday night and he was presenting to the church some exciting changes that are coming in the youth ministry, sounds easy enough, but the whole time I was thinking about how someone could take what he is saying the wrong way or twist it and it will just be a matter of time before we are packing again. Irrational I know, the awesome people at our church love us and support us like none ever before, and have given me no reason not to trust them, it is just those stupid vines of distrust that I cannot seem to weed out. I have also become aware this week that I am terrible at making friends, real friends that I know and trust enough to let them know me. I am great at making acquaintances and hanging out with people, but I have a hard time with anything more. And when I do start to get close to some one it always comes with worry and fear. Worry that for some random reason they will change their mind about me, or worse throw me to the wolves. Now these people I am spending time with had nothing to do with my bad experiences and have never done anything other than be kind and friendly to me, it is again the vines, this time the vine of fear! I complicate every thing by thinking the worst possible scenario is unfolding, I stay up at night praying about problems that I invented and I end up giving up on friendships because I know that one day they will end anyway. I am crazy!

The most frustrating and infuriating thing about all of it is that I know what I would tell some one else if they came to me with similar problems. I would say read 1Peter 5:7, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." Romans 8:15, "For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." Or maybe 1 Peter 3:14,"But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear ; do not be frightened." I would say read Philippians 4:7, Psalms 22, 1 Corinthians 13 or any number of other verses that I would instantly think to share. I know the answers, but for some reason I am only cool enough to talk about the solution not really implement it in my own heart. And that drives me crazy, making me feel like a hypocrite! How is it that I think I can help teenagers with fear or distrust or doubts when I have let the vines of those things take over in my life? I think that I should be past all of these kinds of problems, I should practice what I preach and give it all to God and move forward. I just don't know how I guess, that is a weak excuse at best, but seems to be all I can come up with.

I have however, discovered something else this week: I am prideful and I want to be able to weed my heart by myself but judging from the condition of things I am an awful gardener. I have got to take me out of the equation and just give it all to God. And to be honest, I do not even really know how to do that, except ask Him to show me the way. This process of God pulling the nasty vines out of my heart is not going to be easy or quick, there are many layers to work through before the soil of my heart will be free of weeds. I do have confidence that eventually the holes that remains after the weeds are gone will be loose and ready for God to plant His peace in. "I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me." (John 15:1-4) I want so much to remain in Jesus and in His thought and attitudes, allowing Him to be the gardener of my life, pruning these poisonous vines out of my heart and mind so I can be all He wants me to be. Please pray for surrender and humility for me as I learn to let God do His job.

Sir Alfred Titus the Great

Meet my new shadow, er, I mean puppy Sir Alfred Titus the Great, or Alphie for short. He is a 7 week old long haired wienie dog. My dear, sweet husband decided the girls needed a little inside dog to dote on and I needed something else to clean up after so Alphie met both of those criteria, haha. He is pretty cute, but I am just not a big dog person, or a clean up pee in the house person, for that matter. I am hoping that Tommy is right and he will grow up to be a sweet member of the family. :)

Today was the first day since we got him that the big girls, who are old enough to watch him pretty good, had to go to school; it's just Raegan, the puppy and I. Mondays are when I try to get most of the laundry and some house cleaning done around the house, and today is no exception. As I started working on everything I realized we may have misnamed the puppy, instead of the name that is bigger than he is, it might have been more fitting to name him shadow. Not because he is dark colored, but because he is right behind or under me all around the house. I have to watch where I step so I don't squish the little guy, since he is right in the middle of whatever I am working on.

Sir Alphie loves me already and wants to be close to me. And that is exactly how we should be with God. Whatever God is doing should be so interesting to me that I want to be right in the middle of it. And this will be the safest and most fulfilling place for me to be. If the puppy is right behind me, I know that he is not lost in a giant laundry mountain and that Raegan is not carrying him around by his neck. Alphie also gets a lot more attention when he is under foot, he is always right there, which give me the opportunity to bend down and scoop him up, or pet him. Psalms 91:4a says, "He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge." For a chick to be under his mother's wing he has to be very close beside and that is just the picture this scripture is portraying. God wants us close by; with him all the time. Sometimes it is hard to believe God is close by, life gets crazy and we get distracted and start to wander off. But the Bible says," Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded." (James 4:8) He desires to have us near him, following at His feet like little puppies, because He loves us and wants to show us what's best for us. Alphie has inspired me to try to walk so close to God that He wants to change MY name to shadow.

Power of Peace

Last night I had the honor of teaching our youth during the Wednesday Night Bible Study. Tommy hurt himself Tuesday night in a crazy little fall (that is a whole other post haha) and his neck was so sore Wednesday morning that he didn't feel good about teaching, so first thing he said when he woke up was, "Can you teach about peace and patience tonight?" Over the last few weeks we have started to dig into the Fruit of the Spirit and peace and patience was on the menu for this week. Through out the course of what is usually my busiest day of the week anyway, I had to pray for direction, do research, dissect some Greek, and put all that together into something I hoped would be helpful to the students. I was a little overwhelming, I am used to teaching small groups, usually of girls, but a room full of 50+ faces starring at me was unnerving!

Anyway as I was looking into all the scripture referring to peace something occurred to me; the peace of God, that kind that surpassing all understanding, can have amazing power in our lives! Peace is defined by Websters as freedom of the mind from annoyance, distraction, anxiety or obsession. All that stuff that we worry about steals our peace, when we care what others think about us it steals our peace, when we are obsessed or get distracted with anything it steals our peace. Now I know it is hard to keep all of that stuff out of our minds and hold tight to the peace of God, but the good thing is that God's Spirit wants to help us to focus on Christ and His sufficiency, which will in turn push our anxiety out and pour the peace in. When we remember that Jesus is enough and in Him we can be all He made us to be, the distractions shrink in comparison. And here is where the power of that peace gets even more amazing; when we are free from anxiety, distractions, obsessions, and annoyances we can live way bigger. We can go all out and be crazy for God because we know that when God is in something it is going to be awesome. It may not make sense or look normal, but living the way God wants us to is the most exciting, unpredictable, fulfilling life possible, and with out the peace of God filling our hearts we will be too scared or distracted to get it done. After discovering all this yesterday I am praying for more and more peace in my life so God can do something completely disproportional to anything this little girl could do alone!

Blue Moldy Banana

Over the last couple of days the cleaning closet that houses my trashcan has been a little, OK a lot, stinkier than usual. I have made Tommy take the trash out several times, whether it was full or not, and still the stink remained. I doused the closet and kitchen in Febreeze, but the stink remained. I kind of thought maybe the cat food got too moist from the humidity and that was causing the stench. But this morning it was too much to handle so I had to do some further investigation. I pulled the trash can and the cat food tub out and to my nose's dismay I found the source of the odor. At first I could not even identify the object for the gross blue mold all over it. But as I quickly scooped it up to dispose of it I realized it was a banana. I guess one of the girls, or a man who lives here, missed the trashcan and it landed in the corner of the closet. It was so wrinkly and disfigured and NASTY!! And the source of the smell taking over my kitchen.

I disposed of the banana, Febreezed the dog out of the closet and now my kitchen it back to normal!

The banana is such a little thing, for such a big stink. That is a lot like those "little" sins that we have in our lives, they can really cause a big stink in our hearts. I think sometimes we don't even know what is causing the problem. It could be anger we are holding on to, or selfishness, or pride or ignoring God when He asks us to do something for some one else. Or maybe even those little "white" lies we tell ourselves or others. Any of these things can be hiding in our hearts causing a stink, not allow God to have full reign in our lives. We need to be very thorough in searching our hearts and minds for little stinky sins that are hiding behind the trashcan or in the corner or our lives. You can get rid of everything else or even try to cover it up with church or staying busy, but if the problem is still there you will still smell it! Ask God to help you identify and blue moldy bananas that might be stinking up your heart and then throw them out!!

Bombs and Legacies

Last week Tommy, Raegan and I went to town to run church errands, this is pretty normal activity for us; we have to drive the 20 minutes to "town" at least once a week. Well last week we went to a bookstore we had never been to before in a part of town that we rarely visit. Not that it is a bad part of town or anything there is just not much over there that we need. Anyway right across the street from the bookstore there was a lot of activity buzzing around. There were police cars, news crews, fire trucks, an ambulance, and the whole area was roped off with caution tape. We were interested in what was happening, but we could not really tell what was going on. We proceeded to go into the bookstore and look around for about 20 minutes, and we found nothing we needed. Then when we were leaving the activity across the street heightened, people were running around and closing in on some one or something. We still couldn't see enough to know what was going on and we were finished over there so we left to continue with the errands at hand. Not till later that night did we see on the news, which we rarely ever watch, that there had been a bomb in a mail drop box, in thatparking lot. It was one of several that have been found in East Texas in the last few weeks. I don't think any of them actually blew up, thanks to the careful attention of the law enforcement, but the results could have easily been so terribly different. And 3/5 of my family could have been seriously injured, or worse.

Later that same day I was talking to some one at church and they were telling me about a family member that had been killed in a car wreck last summer. He was in there house talking one minute and the very next he was driving down a wet street when another driver hit a slick spot and slid into him. He was killed instantly. I know that is not what you want to read about on a Tuesday morning or any morning for that matter, but all this got me thinking about death as morbid as that sounds. I am not scared of dying, not scared of the afterlife, and not even scared of the possible pain involved. I have all those covered, actually Jesus has that covered and all I did was accept His gift. The only thing that scares me about dying is that my life will be over, my opportunities past, my song sung. And that will only leave my legacy. Websters defines legacy as, "a gift by will especially of money or other personal property." I doubt I am going to have any money to leave behind or even property for that matter, but I do have the love of God that I can share. I have minutes and days that I can invest in people, and I have gifts that God has given me that I can use for the good of others. If I use all this to the best of my ability for God's glory and people's benefit everyday that God gives me, then I know that I am leaving a legacy that lasts; a legacy more valuable than money, which can be used up, or property that gets old. And the awesome thing is that this kind of legacy will last for ever and ever. As I invest in people's lives, they will in turn invest in some one and then that person in some one else and on and on.

Life is fragile and unpredictable and sometimes unfair; my time on Earth could come to an end anytime, today or in 70 years. There is no way to know! But one thing we can know is that we are not living our lives in vain, wasting our breath and energy on junk that is not going to last, instead we are giving it all we have and our legacies will last forever!

Jesus said "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal." (Matthew 6:19-20)

April Showers Exist?!?

I LOVE SPRING!! Spring is such a great time of year, and having just moved to East Texas, this Spring is especially fun! In West Texas Spring is usually skipped over, or blown away. It is actually springy here, there are sweet smelling plants, wildflowers, trees with blossoms and pollen. I knew what pollen was before, I learned about it is 4th grade science, but I have never seen pollen that covers the cars, the ground and even dyes the puddles yellow, so weird!

Another amazing thing about Spring in East Texas are April showers. I have always heard that "April showers bring May flowers," but yesterday we had a real April shower! It was so nice, so nasty wind, no tornado warning, no bad weather, my girls got to splash around in it! After the rain shower passed, we enjoyed jumping in the puddles and the sun even came back out! The rain cleaned things up around here, the pollen that was covering everything was washed off and all the plants seemed to be greener. It was very refreshing and the air smelled fantastic afterwards!

I think God sends Spring for a reason, a reason greater than it just being that time of year. He sends Spring to remind us that no matter what is going on He can refresh us. I do not like Winter, I hate being cold, I hate having to stay inside, I hate cabin fever; Winter is just not my thing. There have been times in my life that seem like Winter, lonely times, cold scary times, windy confusing times. But God says in Jeremiah 31:25 "I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint." God never intended for us to go through the tough, trying, seemingly impossible times alone, He wants to walk with us all the way. He will refresh us like an April shower refreshes the Earth, He will satisfy us so we can keep going. I cannot tell you how many times, God has sent someone or something to breath fresh air into my life just when I was about to faint. "You gave abundant showers, O God; you refreshed your weary inheritance." Psalms 68:9 And after the rain comes the flowers and fruit. I have experienced that after the winters of life and after the refreshment that God sends, my life is more fruitful. It is not always easier, but I have learned things that help me live my life more like God desires.

I am so thankful for the Spring and even more thankful for God sending refreshing showers just when I need them anytime of year, so that the fruit of His Spirit can grow in my life.

Leaves of Gold

About 11 years ago, before Tommy and I were married, we went on a mission trip with his home church to El Paso. We stayed in a house that was owned by the church, I think, and in that house was an interesting collection of old books. One that I was particularly fond of was "Leaves of Gold" which was a collection on poems and sayings first published in 1938. Tommy and I enjoyed randomly opening that book through out the week and reading out of it. One poem really struck me, so much so that I remember part of it, I was called "Sermons We See". It starts like this, "I'd rather see a sermon than hear one any day, I'd rather one should walk with me than merely show the way..." It is much longer but those short lines sum it up.

As we go about living our lives trying to love Jesus and bring others to Him, it is our actions people see more than hearing our words. This poem is an echo of a theme that is in the Bible, in James 2:14-17 it says, What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." We can talk the talk all day long and bless people with our words and wish them well, but if our hands and feet are not doing the blessing and the loving and the work, then our mouths are useless!! Paul even goes a step further in Corinthians 11:1 where he says, "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ." That is a HUGE request, he is asking the people he is writing to follow him as he follows God. Wow!! Everywhere we go people are watching us and learning from us and drawing conclusions about the God we serve based on us. Am I living my life in a way that it would benefit people to follow me as I follow Christ? That is a great responsibility, but as God's people that is what how we need to live our lives!

Tommy later bought me my own copy of "Leaves of Gold" so I can pull it off the shelf and read the whole poem. And remind myself that as I go about my normal every day living my husband, my girls, my family, the youth of this community, people I don' even know are waiting for me to live a sermon! Because there is no denying that the last line of the poem is true; "There's no misunderstanding how you act and how you live."

Sermons We See- Edgar A Guest. Copyright 1926

Baked Crayons

This weekend I had a little bit of extra time with my girls, which I love, love, love!! So we decided to do some fun crafts. As I was digging around in the craft tubs looking for supplies I found tons of broken, half used, old crayons and I figured we might as well find something useful to do with them. I collected all the old crayons I could find and when the girls got home from school we went outside and peeled the paper off all of them. This took quite a while and was a little messy ( I think I still have crayon under my fingernails), but we got that done so we could move on to the more exciting part. We broke the crayons into little pieces and placed them in muffin pans then put them in the oven. After a few minutes we had liquid crayons, which was pretty neat looking. These had to cool, then we popped them out and had brand new, multi-hued crayon muffins.

I might be weird, but everything is a teachable moment for me, all the time I see things and think of what I could learn from it or how I could use that to teach someone else. Crayon muffins are no different. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says," Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" Before we let Jesus into our lives we are just like those cruddy, broken crayons; not much use to anyone. But when we accept Jesus's love and forgiveness he starts to work on us. He will probably have to peel some junk out of our lives, junk like hatred, doubt, selfishness, things that were in our hearts, blocking Jesus from having full access. This is messy work, but God wants what is best for us so He is willing to stick with us through this process, no matter how long it takes. After this the real transformation begins, Jesus is working in you to make you a new creation, some one useful and cool! These changes can be brought about in many different ways, but it often takes some hard decisions, uncomfortable situations and maybe even something very difficult. I don't think God necessarily cause hardship, life is just hard, but He will use ANYTHING to bring you closer to being who He created you to be. These kinds of things are like the crayons getting broken and stuck in the hot oven. The crayons may not have appreciated what we were doing to them, but we knew the end result; the useful, beautiful final product! There have been times in my life when I did not appreciate what God was doing in me or what was happening around me, but after I see the results I am always so thankful that God cares enough about me to teach me and shape me into someone more useful! Being a follower of Jesus is not easy and becoming a new creation is not an over night transformation, but in the end it is all going be so worth it.

We can choose to be broken crayons floating around in a craft tub of life, never to have a purpose, or we can choose to let Jesus make us something new, something He actually wanted us to be all along, no matter what that entails.

PS. The first picture is our brand new, fun crayon muffins, and the second is the scuffed, broken crayons we started with.

Dead Crickets

Tonight we were playing outside; the girls were jumping on the trampoline, swinging and riding bikes. The weather is nice and everyone was enjoying it and having fun hanging out. Then one of my girls had a melt down over some little thing, crying and carrying on about nothing really. I guess whatever happened was the last drop of water that her lake could hold, because the damn broke and she ended up crying for over an hour about everything from the senseless death of crickets, to missing her family in Lubbock, to a mean girl at school. After a nice long visit with her daddy and a few minutes of comic relief with me she seemed to feel a lot better. She got everything off her chest, knew that her daddy heard her concerns, got some love and attention and was able to go to bed with the peace of knowing her daddy loves her and will do anything for her.

The truth is nothing changed by her crying and screaming and almost making herself sick, she is still far away from Lubbock, where most of her favorite people live, crickets still die needlessly (lol) and that same mean girl will be waiting for her in the morning. I guess all that changed was her perspective on things, her Daddy was able to give her some guidance, support and insights on the things that were bothering her, which made things make more sense.

Sometimes that is how it is when we talk to our Heavenly Daddy. We can and should go to God about anything, He cares about everything that is weighing on us and loves it when we talk to Him about the big stuff and even the little nagging questions that we have. Although prayer can and does change things, sometimes the biggest change is in our hearts and in the way we see the circumstances and people around us. Philippians 4:6-7 says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Prayer seems so awkward to us, like we need to say the right words and sound the right way, but in reality we should just sit in our Daddy's lap and talk or cry or scream or whisper and get everything off our chest. And in turn we will know that God hears us and cares deeply about everything that is bothering us, we will enjoy God's peace and best of all get some amazing Daddy love. And even if crickets still die without any reason at all we can trust the God loves us and that He has good plans for us.

Band-aids

Earlier this week, one of my girls fell on the sidewalk at church. I was chasing her because she was teasing me about seeing a possum, which I HATE and we were laughing and running. I guess her feet got away from her and she tripped. It left a huge bruise on her knee and a scrape on her hip. She insisted that she needed a band-aid for her hip so we dug around in the closet at church and found a cheap off-brand bandage and gently covered her scratch. No big deal, problem solved, all better, or so I thought, what I didn't know is that I just caused her more pain instead of fixing her up! That night in the bath we decided to go ahead and take the bandage off, but it was stuck so tight she was freaking out, so her daddy left it on. The next day it had to come off so my husband and I had to literally hold her down, kicking and screaming, to rip it off. I was so sad, because it left raw places where the sticky had been and the scratch was already gone. That dumb band-aid did more harm than good :(

Many people try to put band-aids, or worse cheap off-brand bandages on their problems in life, bandages like boyfriends/girlfriends, popularity, possessions, friends, money and maybe even going to church. The thing is none of those were meant to fix the problems we have or to help the emptiness we feel inside. And often times what we are using to cover up our hurt, family problems, failures, insecurities and shortcomings is only making matters worse and creating more of those negative feelings and thoughts.

We need to be healed. Jesus is the only One who can come into our lives and love us and heal us from the inside out! Psalms 30:2 says, "O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me." God wants so badly for us to stop covering things up and trying to fill our selves with stuff, people and experiences; He wants us to call out to Him so He can show us what He made us for and guide us to discover His plan for our lives. When we are living our lives for God we will experience healing. Please don't think that all the junk and pain or even sickness is going to disappear out of your life, that is not always what healing means, but you will have the promise that the Creator of the universe will never leave you and He will walk with you through every single heartache that you will experience. During Jesus' time on earth, "large crowds followed him, and He healed them there." (Matthew 19:2) He wants the same thing to happen today!

I pray that you will not keep digging around looking for cheap band-aids that will leave you even more hurt, but you will embrace Jesus and allow His love to heal you!!

All for Him

After a great week of having the girls home for Spring Break and getting to spend extra time with our youth, today I had a little catching up to do around the house. I bought some groceries, cleaned the kitchen, did a few loads of laundry, straighten up the playroom and the girls bathroom, cooked supper and then re-cleaned the kitchen. I used to get a little frustrated when I had a lot of house keeping jobs to do, especially when I didn't make the mess but ended up doing all the work. I would feel sorry for myself and think I was being under appreciated. But then God showed me a couple of verses that really changed my attitude! Colossians 3:17 says "Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." And in Philippians 2:14-15 "Do everything without complaining or arguing so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe." These two verses really rocked my world, because they say to me that I should clean house, cook, do laundry, take care of my family and do everything I do like I am doing it for Jesus. And not only that but I should be thankful that I have the ability to do anything at all. AND not only that but I should do it happily so that I can shine like a star! Wow, that is convicting!!

I am so blessed to have a husband and children, a house, clothes, food and random stuff! I am blessed too that I can use my time to take care of my family and all that stuff. The only way to get out of the work would be if I didn't have all the people and things I am thankful for. Instead of complaining and being worried about getting credit for what I do, I try to remember that I am not only serving my family but JESUS! These verses could apply to being a stay at home mom, working anywhere, doing school work, dealing with difficult people, or really anything. When we look at the tasks at hand as a gift from God and do it all for Him, it will change everything. My house is tidier (most of the time) than it was before I found these verses. My attitude is tons better (most of the time) and I am thankful for things I used to take for granted like running water and washing machines!

So as you go through your day think of how God has blessed you and how you can bless Him and others by doing all that you do just like you would do it if Jesus Himself were going to thank you!