Since I have the privilege of teaching very young children I am in fact working with some of the most generous gift givers anywhere! I am given some very interesting gifts on a regular basis. A package of gummies will land on my desk, or a stuffed animal or a granola bar, really anything that children like, they assume I like and want to share it with me. Occasionally moms will intervene and slightly more grown up things like chocolate and coffee will arrive (talk about a teacher's dream haha)! But the most common gifts I receive are things that the babies find and bring to me: rocks, grass, bugs and lots and lots of flowers.
One day last week while we were playing outside I received a few of these beautiful gifts from a couple of my sweet kiddos. One little girl brought me a beautifully arranged little bouquet of clover flowers. These are in high supply on our playground so I am given these several times a day, but she had them all in line with the blooms all facing up and I could tell she had worked on it for a few minutes. She was showing me love by handing me such a finely crafted collection of flowers. Not two minutes later a tiny guy was on her heals with his own gift for me. He was so proud of himself as he handed me a big wad of weeds. He had clearly ripped up several hand fulls of actual clover plants and other various weeds, some roots and all and crammed as much together as possible and rushed it over to me. He too was showing me love with his prize that he had worked hard to collect for me. This got me to thinking, did she love me more than he did? And the obvious answer is no, but based on the gift alone it would seem that way. Her gift was much more lovely and I could easily put it in a small vase and enjoy it for a few days. His gift on the other hand was just a mess with chunks of soil still attached and it didn't need to even be brought indoors. I believe that although the gifts were very different and barely comparable they both came from a heart of love and appreciation, even of neither of their little mouths could adequately express that! And when I looked at each of those gifts I easily recognized their intentions and thanked them both for their thoughtfulness. They were both doing the best they knew how with what they had available. Since I treasure children, I could never look into their little faces and deny a gift they were giving me (even if it was a June bug haha) because that would seem like I didn't appreciate their gestures of love and that could crush them! If I told my little friend I didn't want his wad of weeds he would never want to try to express himself like that again and what a tragedy that would be. His future wife may not want a wad of weeds several years from now, but she will appreciate him trying to express his love for her and that starts now. Next time, each of them might improve their gift giving skills a little. The little girl may add some dandelions for color and the little guy may shake some of the dirt off the roots before handing it to me. They are learning and growing and understanding more things about the world and people and how to show love to others. I know that it is very early on in the process and I am happy to be the recipient of their young attempts.
I don't think grown ups are much different than my 3 and 4 year olds. Except for the element of shame. We want to love God and others well but we know what a mess we are and how little we have to work with so we shy away and count ourselves unworthy. Or we compare ourselves to others and know that we can't measure up to the "super Christian" that sits a few pews in front of us, so our gifts to God look like a wad of weeds in our own eyes. (Let me just tell you that no one is really that super of a Christian and if they pretend like they are then they have a pride issue so they need to take it down a few notches anyway!) I think a lot of times our lives are messy and hectic at best and they just seems inadequate so we just go through the motions instead of offering everything we have, mess and all, up to God for Him to use as He sees fit. We don't have hours a day to study and pray. We don't have a huge bank account to bless the poor with all the time. We don't have all the right words to say and we haven't even been to a bible class much less seminary. We don't have our lives together so how could we ever help some one else get theirs straightened out? We don't always make it to church on time (yes I know the pastor's wife really sure figure out how to get there before it starts but... the struggle is real even for me) or to church at all. We don't have the gift of preaching or we aren't called to Africa or we are just a mom or just a kid or just an anything that we don't think is enough. We don't know how to put any of that together in a way that seems helpful for anyway much less something that's good enough for God. So we just throw our weeds down and give up. Or worse we pretend like we are living for God even if our heart isn't in it. But listen sweet friend, God doesn't look at your attempts to love Him and love others and see the tangles mess of weeds and roots and dirt that you see, He sees your heart and your intentions and He likes what He sees. He understands that life down here is hard and messy and hectic and that there are so many things pulling at us, and He is not looking for us to be prefect He is just hoping we will try. He doesn't take what we give Him in one hand and compare it to what Mother Teresa gave Him in the other and compare them, finding us to be so much less. He looks at you with tender, understanding eyes and He appreciates your attempts. He knows you and where you're coming from, He knows your story and your struggles and He really just wants you however that looks. Just like I would never shame my little friend for bringing me a wad of weeds He will never shame you for your less than perfect gift. At least your trying. And to Him it looks like a beautiful bouquet of love! So please cut yourself some slack and relax! Of course we should be working with all of our hearts to know Jesus better and to find all the ways we are capable of living for Him. Of course we should be willing to sacrifice our desires for His. But never ever shy away from loving others and serving Him because you feel like a mess! God has a beautiful way of changing what we see as a disaster into something magnificent! He sees your clover bouquets and even your handfuls of tangled weeds and to Him its a beautiful gift of love that He treasures simply because He treasures you. And He knows that you are a work in progress and that its all a process. Next time you try to serve and love you will have more experience and what you're capable of giving will grow and expand too. He loves you and is happy to be the recipient of your attempts to love no matter how basic it might be at first. So breath easy and just go for it and see what God can do with your tangled wad of weeds!
I don't think grown ups are much different than my 3 and 4 year olds. Except for the element of shame. We want to love God and others well but we know what a mess we are and how little we have to work with so we shy away and count ourselves unworthy. Or we compare ourselves to others and know that we can't measure up to the "super Christian" that sits a few pews in front of us, so our gifts to God look like a wad of weeds in our own eyes. (Let me just tell you that no one is really that super of a Christian and if they pretend like they are then they have a pride issue so they need to take it down a few notches anyway!) I think a lot of times our lives are messy and hectic at best and they just seems inadequate so we just go through the motions instead of offering everything we have, mess and all, up to God for Him to use as He sees fit. We don't have hours a day to study and pray. We don't have a huge bank account to bless the poor with all the time. We don't have all the right words to say and we haven't even been to a bible class much less seminary. We don't have our lives together so how could we ever help some one else get theirs straightened out? We don't always make it to church on time (yes I know the pastor's wife really sure figure out how to get there before it starts but... the struggle is real even for me) or to church at all. We don't have the gift of preaching or we aren't called to Africa or we are just a mom or just a kid or just an anything that we don't think is enough. We don't know how to put any of that together in a way that seems helpful for anyway much less something that's good enough for God. So we just throw our weeds down and give up. Or worse we pretend like we are living for God even if our heart isn't in it. But listen sweet friend, God doesn't look at your attempts to love Him and love others and see the tangles mess of weeds and roots and dirt that you see, He sees your heart and your intentions and He likes what He sees. He understands that life down here is hard and messy and hectic and that there are so many things pulling at us, and He is not looking for us to be prefect He is just hoping we will try. He doesn't take what we give Him in one hand and compare it to what Mother Teresa gave Him in the other and compare them, finding us to be so much less. He looks at you with tender, understanding eyes and He appreciates your attempts. He knows you and where you're coming from, He knows your story and your struggles and He really just wants you however that looks. Just like I would never shame my little friend for bringing me a wad of weeds He will never shame you for your less than perfect gift. At least your trying. And to Him it looks like a beautiful bouquet of love! So please cut yourself some slack and relax! Of course we should be working with all of our hearts to know Jesus better and to find all the ways we are capable of living for Him. Of course we should be willing to sacrifice our desires for His. But never ever shy away from loving others and serving Him because you feel like a mess! God has a beautiful way of changing what we see as a disaster into something magnificent! He sees your clover bouquets and even your handfuls of tangled weeds and to Him its a beautiful gift of love that He treasures simply because He treasures you. And He knows that you are a work in progress and that its all a process. Next time you try to serve and love you will have more experience and what you're capable of giving will grow and expand too. He loves you and is happy to be the recipient of your attempts to love no matter how basic it might be at first. So breath easy and just go for it and see what God can do with your tangled wad of weeds!
