Cute for Christ

When I was growing up, I heard a lot that I was cute. That is fine for a 6 year old, flattering in fact but as I got older I wondered when I would outgrow cute and achieve beauty. I turned 13, still just cute. I turned 16, and got a cute car to go with the cute me. I was cute at prom and graduation. Then I was becoming a woman and though surely I would graduate up to lovely or pretty, but no, I was cute at my own wedding! A few years later I resolved myself to just being a cutie and bitterly gave up on my dream of grown-up beauty, I just don't have the features, the high cheek bones, the small nose, the amazing skin. I am fun and fluttery and silly and I am not dog ugly so that equals cute!!

I don't think I am unlike a lot of girls and even women in the fact that I wonder what others really see when they look at me. Do they see the same me that I see in the mirror? Do they notice every little imperfection that I see? Do they know that I wouldn't mind changing a few of my features? Or are they just worrying about what I think of them while I am worrying about what they think of me?

This used to bother me a lot when I was growing up, I of course wanted people to like me and be pleased with my appearance and especially please with my achievements. I wanted (and still struggle with wanting) people's approval and love and attention for the things that I do. It is partly just my personality, I like to be liked, but its party insecurities. I hate when I even think people are upset with me and I can't stand it if for some reason me and some one don't hit it off! I honestly NEED to be liked.

As I am growing more and more to see who God actually intended me to be, it is getting easier to see myself through more forgiving eyes. My eyes don't pick out the imperfections in my appearance or my approval rating first. They are starting to see past those things to the things that God think are important like how much of myself I am using for Him and how my actions are drawing people to the truth. And I am learning that being cute has its benefits in these areas. If I looked like some one that stepped out of a magazine I would be completely inapproachable, but cute on the other hand puts people at ease. I am normal and my appearance isn't intimidating that is pretty important when trying to build relationship with teenage girls! I guess what I am learning is that God knew what He was doing when He made me... imagine that lol! "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalms 139:14. If cute is what God thinks is amazing and wonderful then who am I to argue. And the same goes for you too, after God formed you, placing every detail exactly like He wanted it, He stepped back to look at His living work of art and declared that IT IS GOOD!!

Slow Down Hill Slide

Over the past few weeks I have been enjoying a nasty case of bronchitis, I am coughing horribly and can't seem to catch my breath. This is extra annoying for me because normally the sickest I get is a sinus infection. I have been feeling not quite right since Christmas and last week it got to the point that a quick trip through Wal-Mart left me completely exhausted. I make a terrible sick person, I hate to rest when I have things that need to be done, so I usually don't, then I wear myself out even further! I think I am on the mends now, but as always God taught me something that I thought I should share.

In December when I started feeling bad it was just a little yuck, nothing I couldn't ignore and live with, but over the next few weeks it progressed slowly but surely; so slowly in fact that I barely noticed. I didn't just wake up last week as sick as a dog, it sneaked up on me. It was a slow decline that I didn't do much about until it got to the point that going to the doctor wasn't an option. Had I gone to the doctor early it might not have taken shots and 4 prescriptions to help just start to feel better, but I waited and let it get pretty nasty before I took it seriously.

I think that is how we are with our spiritual health too. Just a case of the spiritual sniffles, like sleeping in a couple Sundays or being selfish here or there doesn't hurt much, but it rarely stops there. It slowly progresses, soon our Bible gets dusty, next we try to just figure most things out on our own without even consulting the one who made us and planned our every day for us! Then we feel so far from God that we don't know if you can find our way back. It didn't happen all at once, but one day we wake up with a full fledge case of spiritual bronchitis and wonder how in the world we slid so far away from the God we gave our life to when we excepted His Son. Had we address the problems when it was just the sniffles the solution would have been a lot quicker and less painful. Don't get me wrong, we are never too far gone for Jesus to restore us back to right relationship, but the process can be painful if we have let things into our life that need to be removed for us to be healthy again.

I am thankful for doctors and shots and medicine even though none of those things are particularly pleasant because I am starting to feel better and get some of my energy back. I am also thankful for the Great physician who cares so much about my spiritual health that He is willing to discipline me or take what ever necessary steps to help me get well again. He knows that we feel the best and have the most energy when we are close to Him, doing what He made us to do. The devil on the other hand loves for us to let those sniffles go ignored and end up super nasty sick, because then we are miserable and ineffective. Jesus told us that "the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10) Don't choose anything less than a completely full life in Christ, it such a waste to spend your days coughing and out of breath when you could be getting things done and breathing easy! :-)