Cute for Christ

When I was growing up, I heard a lot that I was cute. That is fine for a 6 year old, flattering in fact but as I got older I wondered when I would outgrow cute and achieve beauty. I turned 13, still just cute. I turned 16, and got a cute car to go with the cute me. I was cute at prom and graduation. Then I was becoming a woman and though surely I would graduate up to lovely or pretty, but no, I was cute at my own wedding! A few years later I resolved myself to just being a cutie and bitterly gave up on my dream of grown-up beauty, I just don't have the features, the high cheek bones, the small nose, the amazing skin. I am fun and fluttery and silly and I am not dog ugly so that equals cute!!

I don't think I am unlike a lot of girls and even women in the fact that I wonder what others really see when they look at me. Do they see the same me that I see in the mirror? Do they notice every little imperfection that I see? Do they know that I wouldn't mind changing a few of my features? Or are they just worrying about what I think of them while I am worrying about what they think of me?

This used to bother me a lot when I was growing up, I of course wanted people to like me and be pleased with my appearance and especially please with my achievements. I wanted (and still struggle with wanting) people's approval and love and attention for the things that I do. It is partly just my personality, I like to be liked, but its party insecurities. I hate when I even think people are upset with me and I can't stand it if for some reason me and some one don't hit it off! I honestly NEED to be liked.

As I am growing more and more to see who God actually intended me to be, it is getting easier to see myself through more forgiving eyes. My eyes don't pick out the imperfections in my appearance or my approval rating first. They are starting to see past those things to the things that God think are important like how much of myself I am using for Him and how my actions are drawing people to the truth. And I am learning that being cute has its benefits in these areas. If I looked like some one that stepped out of a magazine I would be completely inapproachable, but cute on the other hand puts people at ease. I am normal and my appearance isn't intimidating that is pretty important when trying to build relationship with teenage girls! I guess what I am learning is that God knew what He was doing when He made me... imagine that lol! "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalms 139:14. If cute is what God thinks is amazing and wonderful then who am I to argue. And the same goes for you too, after God formed you, placing every detail exactly like He wanted it, He stepped back to look at His living work of art and declared that IT IS GOOD!!