I like food, in fact I can only think of three foods that I really, really don't like- chili (I had a very bad experience with canned turkey chili as a child, it's entirely possible that my step-mom actually fed me dog food with chili powder added, and lets just say I gave it back to her shortly there after), fruity or gummy candy (yet again I had a bad experience, but this time it was a case of car sickness not step mom sickness) and yogurt (I can choke it down, it just has a funky taste that I can get past, but there was no bad experience to blame this one on). Other than those three things I can literally eat, and enjoy, almost anything. I believe that God made food taste good and gave us taste buds so that we can enjoy it. This is one of those ways that He spoils us and gives us way more than necessary because He loves us. After the last couple weeks, I now believe that God made food for us NOT us for food. We are not intended to be driven by our desires, which includes what we want to eat. The past 14 days I have gone from super hungry and grouchy about not getting to have what I want to strangely less hungry for food and more able to feast on the truth of God. And I think I know why: this might not be a news flash to you and it honestly shouldn't be for me either but... wait for it... Jesus is really smart. No for real He is, and fasting has shown me one more way that that is true. I know I haven't been doing a true food-free fast, but I have been intentionally limiting myself and during those first few days as my stomach would start to rumble I would ask God to make me hungry for Him like my stomach thought it was hungry for food and He has honored that prayer and then one up-ed me.
I am convinced that our stomaches are very closely related to our hearts and minds. There is no quicker way to get some one's attention than to talk about food that they love. This is even obvious in babies and toddlers, they can't even think about anything else if they are hungry and they are very quick to let everyone in their world know about it. Think hangry, haha, you know you have been there, you can't even handle life until you get something in your belly. So by intentionally manipulating what my stomach is spoiled to, my whole self starts paying attention. At first this showed itself in grouchy, irrational, chocolate/coffee-craving ways, but as that wore off a clarity came over me. And no I'm not talking about a meditating with my legs crossed while making weird sounds clarity. I am talking about a clearer ability to be honest with myself and hear from God and let truths soak in. Jesus knew fasting would get our attention and loosen the world's grip on us long enough that we could better listen to Him. That is probably why He asks us to fast. In fact not only does He ask us to fast, He talks about fasting like it's something we are all doing. “When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full." Notice how He didn't say IF you fast, He said WHEN you fast. And when you are a little hungry and uncomfortable some how your ears work better.
For example, for a month or so, I have been reading in Luke. A few times I have read something that seemed new to me or that I felt like was very applicable to me, other than that it mostly seems like a repeat of things I have read a million times. But then insert fasting and all the sudden it seems like I am reading the same old words for the first time. One day this week I read "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches?" and this hit me like a ton of bricks. I have never considered my self to be wealthy, so it never occurred to me that this verse might apply to me. I have always thought we were barely making it, and to be honest we usually are, not because we don't have the resources we need to survive but because we are consumers and we buy more than we need. Compared to the rest of the world even my lower middle class family is at the top of the food chain. If I am among the wealthy then this verse is talking to me. If God can't trust me to make the absolute most of the things He has given me here then why should I be trusted with the greater things of God? Yikes!! Of course we all want God to trust us with His great things, I know I do, so I better get the wealth of this world that I'm entrusted with under His control. I better make sure that I am not wasting what He has given me on spoiling myself and my family. Most of what we have we don't need, we just want it and if we have the money we simply get it. That's not at all a good use of what God has entrusted us with.
I also read about the rich young ruler in Luke 18, before this week I just felt bad for the rich little brat, I mean how could he value his riches more than he valued following Jesus? Having a slightly hungry stomach changed my ears yet again, what if Jesus asks me to sale EVERYTHING and to follow Him to the ends of the Earth with no safety net? Honestly I might go away sad too! Our stuff acts as a safety net for us and we feel like we have something to fall back on if things don't work out. And there is nothing wrong with the stuff, the question is what's more important the stuff or the God who trusts us to steward it well. God didn't leave us here to fill up our bellies and have nice things and live in comfort. If He wanted us to have every good thing He would have just taken us on to Heaven. He left us here to take care of "the least of these" and to sacrifice our comfort to provide for others. I would much rather give more than I am even capable of giving in time and love and energy and money and resources, doing without here so when I get to Heaven my legacy will be evident there. I have 7 more days in this semi-fast and then I will be simplifying in other areas like clothes, media, spending, possessions and stress, and I really hope that I can maintain this level of clarity and closeness with God. Otherwise I may just have to give up sugar and coffee (and everything good) all together. Jesus is so worth that sacrifice and much
much more. Just please remind me of that if you seem me drooling over your plate.
No comments:
Post a Comment